To my future wifey.
Disclaimer: we better not have met already…
Anyway I’m not sure whether this is “manly” but I have my check list too, which somehow starts and ends at number two. So you must be…
2. Slender, like really slim
3. Et al.
Seriously, I hope we’ve never met, coz I already know how we shall meet. I’ll be walking down a dark alley, then two people will appear from nowhere one will rock my neck as the other “kidnap” my pockets (lol)… After two minute it’ll be over, mostly because I’ll have very little on me or because I will have managed to extricate myself from the grip, which will not be so tight seeing that it will be yours, my dear wife. Your accomplice will bolt leaving you behind, pinned on the ground… by me, duh!! I will land some blows on you, and only stop when one hit your chest, ill act shocked then release you. You’ll stagger to your feet and start walking away. I will come over and offer to give you some first aid, which you will decline politely saying you don’t talk to strangers, hehe, and that will be the first of our many jokes, together.
You see that, that is nearly impossible, nearly because, what are the chances that I could be walking in a dark alley, alone?.. and even supposing I could, what are the chances I could fight back, extricate myself? How now? I would be scared shitless, to even breath. No, my dear wife, we shall never meet that way. And my dear, I’m not saying that I’m a coward, far from it. I am saying that I will not be walking, I’m saying there will be no dark alleys near my house, I am saying that I will be a proud owner of 9mm Luger semi-automatic pistol. And yes, I will shoot you if you so as much as come near me. So we won’t quite meet. at least not that way
But anyway, it doesn’t really matter how we meet. However, my dear wife, when we do finally meet, please don’t ask me why I love you, then sit back waiting for a heavenly reply. I will love you coz I do.
Why do I love you? Why? Please rephrase that to “how or when”… that my dear I can answer.
Why do I love you? …I really rake my brain for the answer, to justify my sudden interest in that one girl. Anyone who ever ‘tried’ to love knows it’s a hard and lonely endeavor, often without guaranteed returns, critical or otherwise. So why do I do it? Only gate-crushers like us get asked that question as often. We must justify love or be dammed, we must tell a good story, explain why we are so interested, why we text as often, why we call, why we love that one girl while there are so many out there, literally throwing themselves on us. We can decide to make the answer short and truthful, and admit we don’t really know and place our fate on the mercy of the court or we can spin an impressive yarn full of wits and deliberate objectives or even throw in some spiritual succors. The truth, however, is as mundane as this, we love coz we love.
So please my dear wife. When we meet, I will love you coz I do.
Coz my next best answer will be “I don’t know”
(Hope I’ve met her though. I don’t do surprises so well.)