Dusk #TBT

We walked along the river for hours that day
At some points he held my hand
Complimented me
Every opportunity he’d gush
He was falling and his body was a lush
For my dark curls and the way my dress
Clung to my skinny spine

I liked him too, loved even
He always made my moods better
my heart flutter
Yet my mind was at ease
He prodded trying to figure out how I could be single
with the likelihood of so many having a chance.
I didn’t know either.

As the sky went from blue to gray
He sighed a smile
Saying how I could make even a
Cloudy day feel true
I couldn’t resist.
Turned towards him
Eyes turned up
He pulled me

I remember the warmth and how
Well I fit under his arms
His attention focused on my irises
He stared so serious for a long moment
Not at me
But into me
Seeing the vulnerable sweet girl he has grown so fond of.
Who’s heart was still in a few pieces
Deep within her chest
Leaning in he breathed my scent
Pausing right before our lips met
If only…..

There by the rushing river
Pressing his hips into mine
I felt every sensory in our bodies
Connect into the rhythm
Of his warm body on mine
One of the most devine feelings I’d felt
In such a long time
I remember my whole brain freezing
Thoughts floating around
Nothing else mattered for those few
Beautiful moments when he held me
But he was with another.
Always has been.
I knew then, that we couldn’t see each other anymore.

I was afraid of ever
Feeling that way again
For as great as it felt in the moment
I knew the possible pain of its loss would
Hurt much more than the joy felt, but
Our friendship, the most important
He’s always here, at least. and
That’s good.
For now!


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