We walked along the river for hours that day
At some points he held my hand
Every opportunity he’d gush
He was falling and his body was a lush
For my dark curls and the way my dress
Clung to my skinny spine
I liked him too, loved even
He always made my moods better
my heart flutter
Yet my mind was at ease
He prodded trying to figure out how I could be single
with the likelihood of so many having a chance.
I didn’t know either.
As the sky went from blue to gray
He sighed a smile
Saying how I could make even a
Cloudy day feel true
I couldn’t resist.
Turned towards him
Eyes turned up
He pulled me
I remember the warmth and how
Well I fit under his arms
His attention focused on my irises
He stared so serious for a long moment
Not at me
But into me
Seeing the vulnerable sweet girl he has grown so fond of.
Who’s heart was still in a few pieces
Deep within her chest
Leaning in he breathed my scent
Pausing right before our lips met
There by the rushing river
Pressing his hips into mine
I felt every sensory in our bodies
Connect into the rhythm
Of his warm body on mine
One of the most devine feelings I’d felt
In such a long time
I remember my whole brain freezing
Thoughts floating around
Nothing else mattered for those few
Beautiful moments when he held me
But he was with another.
Always has been.
I knew then, that we couldn’t see each other anymore.
I was afraid of ever
Feeling that way again
For as great as it felt in the moment
I knew the possible pain of its loss would
Hurt much more than the joy felt, but
Our friendship, the most important
He’s always here, at least. and